Mourner for Hire
This week I sang for the funeral of a 96-year-old woman I’d never met. I’ve never been hired for a funeral before! The interesting thing is that it apparently happens all the time. In contrast to weddings, where the couple often asks semi-talented friends and family to do their music, those in charge of a funeral often go a more professional route to find musicians, probably mostly because it’d be nearly impossible for family or friends to make it through without becoming emotional, but also because I think they want to send the deceased off with something high quality. (By the way, I’m definitely just a wannabe professional whose quality is rather spotty.)And so I was contacted, available, and excited about working up some classical pieces for the first time in a while (and boy howdy, if my range hasn’t shrunk a little bit since the last time!). But as soon as I said yes, I thought to wonder whether the woman was a Christian. Thankfully she was. I just don’t like the idea of having to sing for someone I’m pretty sure the other way about! It’s bad enough feeling like I’m crashing a somber event for close family and friends without being in charge of bringing words of comfort that I don’t in actuality think apply. But in this instance I had the pleasure of proclaiming truth to the woman’s family, which is largely non-Christian. I say all of that because there are singers that actually do give their names out to funeral homes so as to be contacted when there’s a need, and while I’m almost interested in that, I'm mostly not because I’d have to really work through what I think about it all ethically first. I’ve started to ponder such matters, but not enough to spell anything out on here. Anyway.
The funeral itself went fine. The message was very “she was such a good person”-themed and talked a lot about her church involvement before (as I understand from my source) she actually accepted Christ. Huh. The music definitely struck me as more theologically sound and meaty than anything they said from the pulpit. (“human family”?? – uch!) I got to sing the 23rd Psalm and, from the Messiah (and Job 19:25-26 and 1 Co. 15:20), “I know that my Redeemer liveth, and He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God. For now is Christ risen from the dead, the firstfruits of them that sleep.” How cool is that?! I just hope people listened to the words instead of being distracted by the music or the vessel (me), both of which ideally are supposed to enhance the message. Well, who knows.
Now that’s a thought path upon which I’ve never before trodden!
posted by Kate @ 11:49 AM
4 Comments:
Huh, that's interesting, Kate. I've never really thought before about the ramifications of singing at a funeral of someone who wasn't a believer. I wonder if it's similar to a pastor having to make a decision whether to marry a couple who aren't believers. It probably doesn't have as much import, since by singing at a funeral, you're not covenantally binding anyone, but it's still an interesting dilemma.
I love that song. We sang the Messiah my senior year of college. Man I need to sing again.
I'm employed now, by the way :)
Well, I've decided that for the time being I will not pursue singing at funerals. I just have too many questions that go along with it: "Were they a Christian?", "Are the song choices theologically correct in this instance?", "Are the texts fitting, or would what I sing be untrue?" It's kind of interesting that I'm getting hung up on the truthful part of singing, since it's usually just a matter of performance. But I guess that in this instance I see it as crossing into, a) proclaiming something about the deceased, and b) being a representation of comfort to those attending. I just think I'd feel ill participating in a false capacity in a situation so necessitating grounded truth. In short, I don't think I'll be doing this much.
It's interesting to try to compare my dilemma with that of a pastor, but I don't think it’s the same problem. A pastor can often choose his texts and at the very least how he delivers the truth, while a singer is given the texts he'll be using (at least in this circumstance). Not that I want the pastor’s job either!
Yeah, working that piece up made me want to pursue singing again. Hmm.
And congratulations, Lindsay. I'm still in vocational limbo -- bleah.
Wow, Kate! I've never heard anything like this. I can, however, just hear the sound of your voice in my head as I listen to your beautiful voice say, "I know that my Redeemer liveth."
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